What can I say, I get under people's skin
by blksnowangel
Summary: This is basically the akatsuki come to my world blah kidnap my friend blah have a picnic blah. Not as bad as I make it seem. Sadly no cursing T.T Oneshot


MY POINT OF VIEW

"Only my friggin luck!" I yelled.

"Yes Angela, we know your luck caused a robbery." Denisha, one of my few girl friends, says sarrcasticly.

"Yes it also got us a bunch of free stuff!" My other friend Christopher says.

We were currently walking through the Rose garden. We were just at an anime convention and well… we didn't change. I guess I'm supposed to tell you who went but… No. I'll tell you this: Denisha was Itachi and Christopher was a ninja hidden in the leaf. As for the stuff… well I had grabbed stuff before somebody robbed the convention and after I made the guy pee in his pants. I wasn't able to meet Mashimoto though.

"Yeah but the bastard didn't have to shoot me!! I mean what fu-"

"Angela! There are children present!" Elizabeth said. I had 'convinced' her to be Sakura.

"What child? It is Friday what kid would be in a Rose Garden?" I turn around and see a pale kid that , no offense to the kid, looked like something off the grudge. "I stand corrected."

I hear a sound behind us and hear a meow. Friggin great a cat.

"Let's go." I said sullenly.

"Why I thought we were going to play tag 'then have an adventurful picnic'?" My friend Stuart says. He was cosplaying as Killer Bee.

"We can't play tag with the little kid hear. Plus I don't like cats. They always tell when something bad is gonna happen."

"That is not true!" My other friend Hamilton says. He was a ninja too but he was from the sand.

"I broke my leg 3 minutes before that cat. I cracked my head, while it was getting cracked, cat. Creepy kid that wants to kill me what I see? A friggin cat!"

"One game of Tag. Please?"

"You can play. I'll be by the fountain."

"No. You will play." Denisha says in a hard voice, "Or I'll tell everyone the tim-"

"Okay I'll do it!!! Just don't tell my squishies!!!!!!!!!" I yell.

I of course had to be it I went to where the fountain was. I yelled, "I'll start when this song is over." I being the cautious person I am brought my laptop I put on 'Misery Business' and rocked out.

Hamilton's point of View

I could hear Angela's computer from here. I was near some purple flowers when I could hear people talking about art.

"Sasori art is fleeting, un."

"No it is eternal."

"Fleeting, yeah!"

"Eternal."

I ran by to hide from Angela ignoring the rest of the conversation. "There is a kid here, hmmm. Lets ask him some questions, yeah!"

I kept running thinking they were talking about the pale kid I saw earlier. I realized they were talking about me when I couldn't move. I couldn't fall. I had one foot up about to touch the ground.

"Let's take him to leader, yeah." Now I was worried. Next thing I knew everything went black.

Denisha's point of View

I was dancing as I walked. I was near some red and black flowers. Elizabeth was looking for a place to hide and we were walking together.  
Then I heard a rustling noise. I turned and see two great cosplayers, one for Itachi and one for Kisame. Itachi is my favorite character so I was glad to see someone dressed like an Akatsuki character. Then I realized I was just dancing in front of two people I don't know. I blushed and was just about to apologize when the Kisame said, "Should we take the girl Deidara and Sakura?"

"Hn." The Itachi said. Next thing I knew I was staring at a red eye with commas.

Christopher's Point of View

I was by some violets and was hiding Misery business only had 1 more minute left. I saw Angela running by. 'Huh? She said she would wait until the song was over.' "Hey Angela! You cheater! You said you would wait until the song was over!!"

"Tobi wants to know who Angela is?" Angela said.

"Ha Angela nice try. Let me find somewhere to hide."

"But Tobi is Tobi!! Tell him Zetsu!"

"Tobi!! You just ruined our** attack** surprise." Two voices said from behind me.

I turn and see a Zetsu.

"What?" Was all I could say before Zetsu knocked me out.

Joshua and Stuart's Overview

They were currently fighting. Stuart was dressed as Kakuzu and Joshua was dressed as a ninja from the sound village. They were still listening to the song it had about a minute left. That was when they heard some rustling and saw Hidan, Kakuzu, Konan, and a Pein cosplayer.

"Well what do you want?" Stuart asked. He was mad that he was interrupted during his fight.

"I suggest you watch your tone boy." The Pein said.

"Come on. Let's move somewhere else they may give away our position to Angela." Joshua said.

"WE have some questions for you." Was all the Kakuzu cosplayer said before strings came from his arm and grabbed Stuart and Joshua.

My point of view

Okay time to find the others I said as the song ended. I look and see the same cat near me. I look at it and can't help but to pet it. I don't like walking cats but I'm okay with them sitting down.

"His name is Mar." A voice says that scares the bejesus out of me. It was the same boy from before. I hadn't seen him approach nor did I sense him sitting next to me.

"Nice name. Ummmm, hope you don't mind but where is your mom?" I ask.

"She is watching your friends. They were taken by some people wearing black and red cloaks." He said.

"You've got to be kidding me. My friends were taken by cosplayers!! Denisha has nothing on me now." I yelled. I ran off to the right. I ran past 10 sections of flowers before the kid appeared in front of me.

"Your friends are the other way you know." He said.

"Heh-heh, I knew that." I was about to run off when I turned around. "Hey, what's your name? I want to know it before I run off and save my friends butt."

"It's Toshio, Toshio Saeki." When he said that my blood stopped.

"Wait you are the kid from the grudge. Why haven't you killed me and how do I know once I stop the others you guys won't kill me?" I asked shakily.

"You are just like us. Sad and Violent." He said.

I smiled and bowed my head. "Thank you, thank you. I know I am violent so please keep sending me more praise." He looked at me and smiled. "But umm, can I get directions. Or what type of flowers are they near." Toshio face palmed. What can I say I have that way with people.

_Time-skip of craziness_

I ended up getting captured. My friends told me that I was the leader and that I have the most information. Somehow they convinced them that I was a genius.

"Will you answer the question?" Hidan asked or yelled. Your pick.

"Wah?" My friends looked like all hopes were lost. I needed to get to my backpack.

"How could you be leader? You have the worst attention span just like Tobi." Hidan said. I hate it when people say that I'm like someone it makes me get… murderous.

"I could be leader because my group could kick your [beep] anytime we[beep] wanted! Now shut your [beep beep] transvestite [beeeep] and let us [beepng] go or I'll take a thorny stick and shove it up your [beep] then pull it out shove it down your throat then shove it right back in your [beep]!"

"I like to see you try!"

"I would but I'm tied up at the moment." Then Hidan does the stupidest thing ever. He let me go. I was sitting near a rose bush. I let all hell run loose.

_5 minutes later_

"Now can we discuss ways of our freedom reasonably?" Yes they tied me back up. I was satisfied though. I got the stick shoved in Hidan's butt when Kakuzu grabbed me.

"What do you have in mind?" Pein, the oh-so-scary-eyed-leader, said.

"Let me discuss with my," I looked at my friends and smiled my masochist smile, "subjects."

"You may." I stood up and told them we each do something to set ourselves free. "Stuart and Josh you get Hidan battle. Denisha you get Itachi embarrass him. Hamilton you get Deidara, embarrass him. Elizabeth Chris I have you covered."

"Were ready!! But every time my crew beats one of you we go free. With the exception of the Leaf ninjas, they are my healers." I said boldly

"Fine. But you have to do 2 tasks to let them leave." Pein said.

"Okay Pein."

"Sound Ninja you're first. He will be challenging," I made myself seem like I was choosing at random, "Hidan. First to get hurt 3 times loses." Joshua fights like a Hyuga he uses gentle fist were he hits your pressure points. Hidan didn't see Joshua as a threat at first, but when Joshua hit him in the stomach 3 times he reconsidered. "Hey that was cheating!!"

"No it wasn't. Next is the second Kakuzu. Hidan you could fight him you deserve a rematch." As Stuart went by me I told him let him get some of your blood. Brace for the pain." He nodded and trusted me.

"Joshua," I said out loud, "Get your bag and head to the fountain wait for Stuart. He'll tell you what to do next."

Stuart hit Hidan once before Hidan got him. When Hidan casted his jutsu I smiled he took his time first cutting his skin then getting Stuarts leg joint. "Hidan lost Stuart won! Next is-" I started

"How did I lose he touched me once!" Hidan yelled

"But you harmed yourself. I said that the first to get hurt 3 times loses." Then to Stuart I said. "Head to Joshua wait for Christopher then ask him to heal you. Bring back a weedwacker and some weed spray. I'm gonna need it soon." I looked at the Akatsuki who were starting to get worried.

"Now Pein gets to choose who goes next." He said Kakuzu and I chose myself. This was gonna be fun.

"Hey Kuzu do you have your briefcase?" I asked before the fight started.

"Yes what do you want with it?" Kakuzu asked hesitantly.

"Why that's my challenge." I said out loud and smiled at my friends, "I'm gonna win a bet against Kakuzu. The bet is that I can't open his briefcase. If I win I get half of the money in the briefcase if I lose I'll let you decide." I smiled at Kakuzu. "Briefcase please?"

He hands me the briefcase looking cocky. I love crushing people's spirit. I went over to my backpack and pulled out my stethoscope. I placed on the briefcase to locate the gear shift. I played with numbers on it then got serious. I listened for the click of the first number 4. Then the second 8. 2, 7, 1.

I clicked the sides and it opened. I looked at Kakuzu and said, "I win. Christopher go to the water fountain and heal Stuart. Next are Itachi and Deidara." Christopher walked picked up his and Stuarts bag. I hope he sees the surprise in there.

I took half of the money in the brief case and threw the briefcase back to Kakuzu saying thank you

I didn't have to look at the battle to know that Denisha was going to win. I counted Kakuzu's money slowly just to taunt him. He was getting angrier by the minute. I was happy though so far he had $5,000. I looked up to see Itachi fainting. "Deidara wins. Denisha go wait by the fountain and wait there. Elizabeth will be there shortly." I whispered to her. I turn around and see a pale figure wearing a white dress. That must be Ms. Saeki. My thinking was interrupted by Joshua coming back.

"I found the weedwacker but there was no weed spray." He said.

"Hn, ok, I guess," as he was about leave I said, "Hey Josh. Get the video tape out. I want you to record this." I look at Zetsu and yell, "I will scare Zetsu twice or make him lose that calm face."

The Akutsuki all started laughing except for Zetsu and Itachi who were still unconscious. "You must be crazy, un! No one can scare Zetsu, yeah" That's what they all say.

I look at the weedwacker in my hand and yell, "I summon you to life Kayako Saeki get Zetsu to be scared!!" Everyone looked at me crazy even Itachi. He had just woken up to stare at me crazily.

"You think that stick will** scare** frighten us?"

"No but she will."

"**Who you crazy** insane-" Ms. Saeki had appeared in front of him like he materializes out the ground. They both screamed like madmen. I laughed so hard I snorted. Especially when the rest of the Akatsuki joined in. "Josh are you *huff* getting this?"

"Oh yes I *laughing* am." I walked over to and said, "Thank you. When this is over can you and Toshio join us for a picnic? I really owe you one and I will not take no for an answer." She nodded her head yes. "Yay!! I'll call you when this is over." I look at Zetsu who looks like he only has half of himself. And I smile. And I start the weedwacker. And I had fun.

_One flytrap away later_

"It wasn't that bad. You can walk around now and it will grow back? I hope." The rest of the Akatsuki look at me strangely even my friends. Maybe I went to wild with the weedwacker. "Zetsu?" I said.

"**What more could you want? Su fainted, you nearly killed me with the stick, and you what want us to be friends you freak?"**

"Fine, I wanted to make this willingly but oh well." I stood up from my kneeling position next to a sunken Zetsu. I stare at each member I caused harm to. Then I said,

"I still need to be free so this is my last challenge. None of you can eat more than me."

"We aren't gonna eat anything from you it might be poisoned." Pein said looking sick.

"Wait." Konan said. This is the first time I have ever heard her speak. "I accept the challenge."

I winked at Konan and said, "Well you all got your ass kicked by a girl. Let us skip to the gazebo and eat." I walked toward Konan and held my arm out. She took it and we skipped to the gazebo. Elizabeth and I just spotted it when I could hear rustling behind us.

"Tobi thought other Tobi might want your backpack." I look and see he is holding my backpack.

"Thanks other me."

I took the bag just Tobi said, "Yeah the dolls are really cute." I stopped and had a near heart attack.

"My dolls! You looked at them!"

"Yeah the one of me was really cute!"

"Dolls what dolls are Tobi talking about?" Elizabeth asked. I fainted right there in front of my friends and the Akatsuki. Not too long after that someone started poking me. I was okay, till they kicked me. I woke up and grabbed the leg pulled down hard and raised my hand to meet the face. I hit something a lot softer.

"Why me? Why my luck?" I opened my eyes to first see Zinthias. Cool my favorite flower. Then I smelt food. It smelt good. I opened my eyes which I didn't know I had closed. I sat up and saw the Akatsuki staring at me.

"What is there something on my face?" I felt my face just to be sure, but I didn't feel anything.

"Wow you're actually pretty, yeah. I had thought you were ugly, un." I felt my face again and realized the mask was off. When I started looking for the mask Tobi handed it to me.

"Tobi got curious! Tobi is sorry! Don't hurt Tobi!" I put the mask on, stood up, and walked to the edge of the Zinthias I called out to the Saekis.

"If you want to eat do it now." I looked back at the Akatsuki they were all staring at me even Zetsu. I ignored them and walked over to my friends for an update.

I could tell the Saekis were there. They're presence made the Zinthias move.

"What happened while I was asleep?" I said huskily.

"Nothing much except, for the clothes taking off. Thanks for the dolls." Elizabeth said.

"Welcome. Did you men like your dolls?" I said teasingly.

"Yes they would make great voodoo dolls."

"Hn." I turn and see the Akatsuki still stare at me. This was getting annoying.

"What do you want? Yes I'm a girl. Yes I'm like this when I wake up. No, I didn't make the dolls for voodoo. Which were you thinking?"

There was a chorus of murmurs from the Akatsuki mostly saying all of them.

I sighed and asked, "Are you gonna reclaim the glory of being undefeated?"

That got Hidan to talk, "Heck yeah you cunt! I'm gonna beat you in the food eating competition. If I win you give me a kiss." I chocked on my own spit. If they could see my expression they would all die of laughter. "No!" I squealed. "I don't want to kiss you! You might taste like dead people!" Everyone laughed at my reaction. When the Saekis laugh though, it shocked all of us. Me I didn't know they could laugh. But the others nearly pooped on them. The Akatsuki got into fighting position and my friends were about to run.

"Good god you guys are sissies. They will be eating with us. It is my thank you for saving your sorry skins." I said at my friends.

"Hey you can't call us sorry." Stuart yelled.

"I JUST DID HAHAHAHA!!! Come on let's eat already!"We all ate and had fun. We ended up getting into a food fight so no one claimed my lips (thank god) or won the competition.

"You know we never did get to play Tag." Hamilton said.

"Too bad. Alas I still had fun."

"What is Tag?" Tobi asked.

"Why Tobikins, tag is the most funnest game ever invented. You run around and you have to capture people they can hide and do whatever but we must be able to get them easily. That means no Justus. We made up our own game where once you get tagged you become a tagger until the game is over. We were planning to play but we got captured. Let's get ready to go.

As we were about to leave Konan said, "Let's play It'll be fun."

In the end I and Tobi were it. I yelled, "Yall got till the end of tis song to hide. I put on Single Ladies by Beyonce. The song was halfway through when Tobi asked, "You know who I really am, don't you?"

"I knew this question would come up eventually," I murmured. Yes I know that you are Madara Uchia, the true founder of the Akatsuki. I have no plans on telling the others who you are or what the future will be like."

"Then tell me, how did you know who we are? You are dressed exactly like us."

"In this place, world, dimension, whatever you want to call it you are story book characters. I can't tell you the future for the organization because it will mess up the flow of the story.' The song ended just then. "Let's go find the others." I said. In the end the order of people we found was Elizabeth, Hidan, Toshiro, Mar, Kakuzu, Deidara, Sasori, Stuart, Joshua, Zetsu, Hamilton, Pein, Christopher, Konan, Itachi, Ms. Saeki, and Kisame.

We were laughing and telling jokes when a ripping noise was heard.

"I guess this is goodbye." I said. " And you still got your butts kicked by a girl"

"Hey that thing was rigged!"

"It was terrifying **Oh now you're up** what's hat supposed to mean? **It means you were out for over an hour.** Yeah well…" I tuned Zetsu out after awhile. I watched as they all got sucked up even the Saekis.

"You know in all of this I didn't get their autographs." All my friends face palmed.

What can I say get under people's skin.

This occurred to me in a dream and I wanted to write it. Whatever if you don't like. Yay if you do like. ^-^


End file.
